Creating and Building a Life and/or Business

It seems my whole life has been about building something. In the beginning the greatest force was my experience taking the Dale Carnegie Course at the age of 21.  It gave me the confidence to dream about what was possible; learn how to control my attitude; and rely on my interest in others to get me through people problems. I must have read How To Win Friends and Influence People five or six times in six months. The best of Dale Carnegie’s books for me was How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. It’s a masterpiece on attitude control and the discipline of making decisions and moving on. The Dale Carnegie Course is still the most beautiful experience someone could benefit from.    

Those early Dale Carnegie days stayed with me even though I know many business friends might think they don't need to take the course and probably ‘poo-poo’ the principles.  I struggled at the beginning of my career because I had little experience in business, selling and management. But somehow I influenced some great people around me to believe in Carnegie like I did and to believe that we could influence the marketplace in a big way and in so doing build a good life for ourselves. It really helped to have Bud Hogberg as a great mentor in my early life.  Bud pretty much believed I could do anything and went out of his way to prove it to me. “Arouse enthusiasm in others and treat people as if they are special everyday.”  I remember walking down the street with Bud. He stopped walking, grabbed me by the arm and dragged me into Woolworth's Department Store and bought me an umbrella because it might rain and I didn't have one.  No one acts like that.  Bud did. I desperately wanted to be like him - a walking, talking Dale Carnegie master.  I imitated him.  As ridiculous as that sounds today, it kept me going until I produced, survived, and my skills caught up to my enthusiasm.

By the time I was 28, I was the youngest sponsor (owner) in the Dale Carnegie world-wide network.  My managers Dave, Cyril, Fred, Norm, Herb, Ray, Vic, and Kathie, who eventually took over the entire operation, led my flourishing organization. I would have accomplished little without their spirit and hard work. At an international convention I was asked to give a speech on how we did it. I wasn't sure how, but it caused me to think that commitment comes first, and answers comes second. To this day people use that quote. What does it mean to you?

To me, everything is an illusion.  A story in our head.  A belief. We are a collection of aspirations, goals, values and most importantly, commitments. Once we intuitively know who we are, what we want, and what we believe in, we can create the life we want regardless of all the twists and turns life seems to give us. Then just live that life everyday with all the gusto you can muster. It is amazing how answers appear.  When we make commitments we learn to succeed. Commitments aren't intentions. They are real. 

Lee Straughan, who is the best leader I've ever hung around with, taught me more about living commitments than anything I have ever read or realized on my own. Here are some of the things Lee taught me.

1. When you can't fulfill a commitment, go to the person you made it to and talk it out.  Typically people talk to everyone but the person they made the commitment to and then they blame, complain, and give a pretty good story as to why they can't live up to it.
   
   
2. Always support the people you make commitments to. Never let them down. Never let people talk badly about the people you are committed to.  Stop them cold - nicely. I always wished I were more like Lee but I do try to demonstrate his behavior to anyone who supports us, helps us, or buys from us. With this approach people trust you and are more apt to join you, follow you, and do business with you. 

As I delved into creating as an art and science, I learned how commitment is the source of action. People only do what they want to do and believe is possible.  If someone knows that, they begin to listen differently. They listen for what people are committed to. It is not always obvious and you have to hear what's behind the words they are saying. This skill can help you when alignment is important for action. Like you, I have spent a lot of time in meetings, and alignment is illusive. When you can hear commitments you can bring them out and then point out the common commitments in the room.  Then ask for alignment on them before you get into detailed action. It works. There is nothing worse than realizing you are all alone on the plans in motion.

Leaders bring people to places they would never go on their own but how do they do it?  I hope my conversation today starts a reflection for you. You are what you are committed to. If you are not sure of your future, or worried, or are coasting a bit, or wondering what it’s all about, then I suggest you slow down, digest my message and see what occurs to you.Trust your intuition and get into action. Action is all there is.  (More on that later).

Have a great week.